Edward, the outcast
by TheInevitableKind
Summary: Edward came out. In a Republican family. Oh God.  Short drabbles. Comedy. A general situation with your good Ole' Cullens.  I own nothing.
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: Edward came out. In a Republican family. Oh God.**

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><p>"I'm gay."<p>

"You're _what_?" I raised a brow, humming Lord's prayer for the umpteenth time today.

"I'm gay." He repeated.

"Edward, I'm glad you're happy. Now can you please go and pick up your sister. I would love to talk with you but you offered and I feel as if you have no need to be at home," I can sense that he was going to revolt back, "Would you please try to get a decent vocabulary? You're father would much rather hear happy."

"Did you not hear what I just said?"

"Edward, dear," I looked up at him, settling the knits on my lap, "I heard you loud and clear."

"Then where's the confusion?" He asked, bringing his thumb to his jaw.

"There is no confusion."

"You just referred to my coming out as a term to an emotion?" His voice rose, "Are you serious?"

"Now what's gotten you so mad?"

He groaned and slammed his head back against the pillows. I wasn't mislead when I heard –_'Fuck me'_ from his mouth.

"Edward!" I chastised.

"Mom!" He repeated with the same momento.

"Don't you dare say those filthy words from your mouth. Would you like it if I went back to putting a bar soap in your mouth?"

He drew his head out in sympathy, "I know you don't want to hear this—"

"There's nothing to—"I stopped when I noticed the glare in his eyes, "—Alright, Edward. What do you want to tell me that it is _so_ important, you'—"

"I'm gay! I'm a fag. I take it up the ass. Well not yet. But I will! I'm a queer. I love guys. I like to touch them and I like it when they touch me. It feels good! Boobs don't make my dick twitch. But guys do. They make me hard. Really hard. Hard as the earth's core."

I guess I was lost in the revulsion.

"I lost you after you said—" I hesitated, "Uhm," I cleared my throat, "…_ass_."

"I. Am. Gay." The enunciation did no help.

I guess it would be pointless to show idiocracy.

"I've never heard such a thing."

"Dad preached it in church last week! He talked about how _I _was going to hell!"

I stood up, mouth wide, "He was not referring to you! You are not an abomination in god's eye. I think he was talking to the Hale's child. That child is remarkably troubled and—"

Edward glared, "My boyfriend." He finished.

"Well yes, you're.." I halted, "Excuse me?"

"Are you done talking out of your ass yet?"

My jaw dropped. You could say that.

"Look I love you. And I respect you. But I'm more liberal than you. I don't want to be a Republican—Ma, I'm a goddamn Progessivist, you should know that by now!"

My head felt light.

"And I _hate_ Suzie Orman's Sundays. It's boring and bland and—heterosexual. The bitch gives reassurance to financial reasons but looks like she has something up her ass."

I didn't even know where to start.

"This has to explain why I ask you for orange juice all the time.."

And why is that?

"Orange juice is gay. It has the vitamins and the whole 9 yards. To make me look gay, you know?"

I don't even know anymore.

"I guess now's a good time to also tell you that my first kiss was with Emmett."

Jasper's brother?

"He's not gay but Jasper is. Emmett didn't say anything, though. Good guy."

My head reeled.

"His lips reeked of sweat. Not a good kiss."

I saw flutters above my head.

Edward wavered his eyes over me, "It happened two years ago. In our house. Right behind you."

The last thing I saw was my hand swinging at Edward's face and missing by an inch. By an inch. And after that, the rest was history.


	2. Chapter 2

"What'd you do Edward?" Alice hollered, pressing her cold palms against the edge of my cheeks.

"Nothing. Absolutely nothing." The sarcasm was dry in his voice.

I just wanted to roll my eyes.

"You killed mom!"

"The fuck I did, Alice."

A gasp—" Edward! Don't say something like that!"

"What?" I could sense him shrug his shoulders, "It's a proper reaction, might I say."

"_To what_?" Alice retorted, twisting my face in a frantic manner, "What exactly could cause mom to die on the floor."

"She's not dead Alice," Edward barked, "Not yet, at least."

Alice removed her hands from my face, "Oh Eddie! She didn't mean to throw away your Poison T-shirt. She simply felt that it was stale and horrendous. Nothing wrong with that," Pause, "It's no reason to kill mom…"

"My shirt? That's where my—I thought—"

"We're going off track!" Alice yelled and I couldn't help but flinch. A notion obviously unnoticed.

"Right. Got it," Edward took a deep breath, to regain his composure, like what he does most of the time, "Mom's not dead. Let's that get clear. She just fainted."

"What did _you_ say?" Alice pressed.

And then I began to beg. I began to beg to the holy God, asking that Edward would not say those words out of his mouth. I begged that the heaven can hear my cries and save his soul. I begged for silence.

"I told her the truth."

"Truth about what?"

A pause.

"You know…?" An uncertainty raised in his voice.

Another pause.

"No. Way." Alice had some sort of astonishment in her voice.

"Yes, way?"

"How'd she hit her head?"

That was her next question? I rolled my eyes in to the back of my head.

"She flung her hand at me and missed. Her foot slipped and she lost control. Before I could do anything about it, the lamp was over there," his voice became distant, "And her head was down here."

"She tried to hit you?" Her voice rose.

"Wasn't very successful though."

Alice slid her leg, which nudged my hand.

"I can't believe this."

Someone shuffled their feet.

"I know."

Alice's cold hands were back onto my face, "We need to call the paramedics."

"Dad will have my throat in his hand."

"You're so selfish." Alice growled, her franticness returning.

"Hey. Gay men are not selfish. If anything, they're just…_gay_."

I flinched. There was the word. Said twice. In the same minute. Someone please just kill me now.

"What are we going to do then?"

"Stash her. That's what they did in the Bond's movie last night."

"Edward!"

"What? Fags don't have ideas. They imagine things."

"Well what do you imagine that we do?" Alice snapped at him.

"Stash her." He repeated.

At that moment, it seemed to me that both of my children were in a murderous plot to kill me and nothing could be done about it. Nothing.

The stashing of the keys into the door knob was heard by everyone. If anyone were in my situation, I swear you could hear my children's heads just zilt towards the door in complete silence.

It was quiet exhilarating.

It's Carlisle. He was due home any second anyway.

"Block the door, Alice!"

"What? No! It's dad!"

"Exactly why. I'll go put her upstairs, divert him!"

I heard them standing and their breaths heaving, "I can't do that Edward!"

"You're wasting time, just go!"

"But—he's—Oh. My. God. The door's open."

"_Fuck_." Edward hissed.

Before I can try to open my eyes and call out for Carlisle to get me out of their insanity, two hands lifted my body up, an 'oomph' releasing from their mouth.

"Edward, what the heck are you doing?" Alice loudly whispered, "Put mom down!"

Edward picked me up?

"Edward, put. Mom. Down." Alice gritted.

"No," I felt his breath rasp against my neck, "I refuse to do that."

There was a slight groan from her mouth.

"Why are homosexuals so insisting?"

Why are there so many names that can label my son?

"We're not insisting. In the long run, we're right."

A creak of the floor board got them to both get silence.

"Alice, go!"

I can sense her hesitation, her worry, her anxiety, everything that I felt.

I guess their silence was the answer.

Without another word from either one of them, I felt myself being rushed up the stairs and dived into what possibly and should be, my room.

I felt the familiarity of the mattress against the brisk of my skin and let the air out.

I felt like I could finally breathe.

"Mom," Edward hovered next to me, "You need to wake up."

I really wanted to.

"I know you can hear me. Just open your eyes and look at me."

I tried.

"Please."

I really did.

"Mom, please."

I tore my lids apart from the corners of my cheek. As I looked over Edward, I realized I do so, just in time.


	3. Chapter 3

Carlisle rushed to my side, a crest in his forehead, which dented his skin in a tiring appeal, "What's wrong?"

I swung my eyes at Edward, who swiftly drew his hands into his pockets. Then I turned to look at Alice, who looked like she could vomit any second from now. I looked back at Edward and I saw that his posture was tiresome. I went back to look at Alice and—

"Esme, _what's wrong_?" Carlisle repeated, pressing his thumb to my cheek.

I closed my eyes shut and fell against the comfort of my pillows.

"Do you want me to call the doctor?" His voice rose.

I shook my head, "M'fine."

"Are you sure?"

No. Not really.

"She's fine." Edward interjected, irritation in his voice.

There was more silence.

"Please don't argue," I pleaded, groaning as I brushed Carlisle's finger away to tilt to my side, "Head hurts."

There was a deep sigh, "Edward, why don't you do yourself a favor and wrap your mother with that quilt."

A low and deep respond of—"Yes sir," caused me to cringe.

He was angry. Edward was definitely angry.

"No quilt. Too warm in here. M'fine." I concluded, rubbing my eyes.

"I'll get some water." Alice called off from the door, her presence missing a second later.

I felt fabric on my body anyway and then someone's lips against my hair, "It'll get cold in here." Edward then placed a kiss on my head and the imprint of his love was left behind.

Carlisle cleared his throat, "I'll go get some motrin."

I nodded my head.

And then a—, "Come on Edward," Followed.

My heart stopped.

"For what?" He barked.

"I need to speak with you."

I was sure he didn't want to leave.

The sound of his boots retreating against the wood floor caused me to flinch.

"We'll be right back sweatheart."

With that, the door was shut.

"What'd you do?" Carlisle hissed.

"Nothing."

"_Edward_." Carlisle warned.

"What?" He growled.

"I want an honest answer young man."

Silence.

"I'm tired. I'm gonna get some sleep."

"Edward, I'm not finished." Carlisle reminded him.

"The fuck you aren't," he retorted, "But I am."

His boots clashed against the wood once more, and I knew this wasn't going to get any better.

"You are not leaving until you answer my question. Do you understand that? Sit your ass down!"

Carlisle's angry too.

"What the fuck do you want Dad?"

"An answer."

A man who was stubborn fighting with a man who was ignorant, that never ends well.

"I'm gay."

"Excuse me?" Carlisle replied like he was thrown off a chair or something.

"I like cock."

"_What?_"

"I'm a homosexual."

A large groan escaped from Carlisle's mouth.

"I want you to know that."

"Edward." Carlisle called out.

"I can never change who I am."

"Oh, Edward." Another cry. Not from Carlisle, from Alice.

"I love men. I want to fuck men. I need em'."

A pause.

"That's my answer," he mumbled, "If you don't like it, I don't care."

"He's high daddy! He don't mean that! Look at his eyes, them eyes are dilated daddy!"

"Shut up Alice." Edward snapped.

"He went to smoke pot with the Demetri brothers, that's all! He's high!"

"Fuck off Alice!"

"He isn't gay. He's straighter than a pencil on crack."

"Oh for god's sake!"

"He is NOT gay!"

Edward hollered, "Check my stash! I got the gay porn on my porch. I'm gayer than Elton John's closet!"

"HE'S HIGH!"

"I have cumout, wipe it hard, lick me, everything! I got nothing to hide!"

"He's not gay!"

Went on with a—

"I am gay!"

I lifted my head up.

"IT'S THE ORANGE JUICE! THE ORANGE JUICE MADE HIM GAY!"

And everything went silent.


	4. Chapter 4

Carlisle released the fist that he made, his eyes turned to look at me.

"The oranges?" Edward chuckled.

I lowered myself back down, eyes intact on both of them. My response was just a small shrug, an indecisive shrug that held no value. No explanation. Nothing.

"The oranges." Carlisle repeated.

I shrugged again.

"I knew it!" Alice remarked, appearing with a glass in her hand and an I-knew-that demeanor.

She smiled and gleamed and threw a quick look at Edward, "I knew it." She mumbled, quite happy with herself.

"Wha—no? No." Edward laughed, tossing his head back.

"That explains _everything_," Alice continued, walking towards me, "He's like addicted to it. When a guy takes drugs, he becomes a drug addict," she stated the obvious, "So when a guy drinks orange juice, he becomes Edward."

I saw that she didn't want to say the word as well.

I grabbed the glass of water and took a sip. I didn't feel thirsty at all.

"I don't know what to say here," Carlisle sighed, "I mean, what _can_ I say here?"

Carlisle's eyes went back to look at me.

"I haven't got a clue."

"It's not the end of the world." Edward muttered as he pushed past Carlisle and sprang himself on the edge of the wall, leaning on it casually.

"Of course not, Edward." I mumbled, not wanting him to feel hurt. I've never wanted him to feel alone. Never.

"I _do_ know what to say," Carlisle mumbled.

"Oh. Please don't open the Bible." Edward groaned.

"I don't hate you for who you are, Edward." Carlisle gritted.

"You have a funny way of showing it."

"You just told me, right this instant!" Carlisle yelled, throwing his brows into contortion.

"If I gave you the opportunity to say something, I know exactly what you'd say."

Carlisle pressed his lips together, "And what would I say Edward? Huh?"

"That I'm going to hell and I have no place in this world and my ass is going to burn with every step I take—"

"That's a reflex, Edward." Carlisle interrupted.

"A reflex? Who the fuck preaches shit like that?"

"If I knew that you were one I wouldn't have, Edward."

"Bullshit!"

Carlisle shook his head, "Do I look like I like anything I say when we go to church?"

At this, Edward raised his brow, "What?"

"Edward, I only read parts from the Bible that I feel is necessary and important to me as well as to others. I don't read lines that hurt people, why do you think I never about abortion? It would destroy Tanya. And under the circumstances that she had to get one, I would never do something so rude and disrespectful. Son, if you told me, I would have never preached it."

"But you did."

"Edward—"

"That's not good enough, Dad. The things you say, you—you can't take it back."

"But I can remove it."

Edward frowned.

He took a step forward towards Carlisle, "That's it?"

"That's it." He assured.

"You have nothing against gays?"

"No."

"Drags?"

"No, Edward."

"Dicks up guy's asses?"

Carlisle shut his eyes at this one, "No, Edward." He drew out, pressing a finger to his temple.

"I'm pushing it, aren't I?"

"It's fine." He calmly breathed out.

"You're okay with me, then?" Edward questioned.

Something broke inside of me right then. When I heard the desperation in his voice and that he was telling us this before he lost all the courage—that broke my heart. He was scared more than I thought.

"I won't lie," Carlisle began, opening his eyes and pin pointedly looking at Edward, "But I can handle this. I mean, where else are you gonna go for support? No one else is like you in a 10 mile radius here."

"Jasper is," Alice quipped, her words almost lost in the air.

"The Whitlock, kid?"

I carefully shook my head.

"Seriously?"

It was this time for Edward to be confused, "I thought you always looked at him when you preached the whole abomination crap…"

"I looked at him because he had an inappropriate shirt always behind his suit. I warned him about that."

"What shirt? He told me that you—"

"No, Edward..."

"That bastard." Edward exclaimed.

"Edward!" I cried.

"I'm going to stick a wood up his ass."

"Edward." Carlisle groaned.

He looked at us both and then shook his head, "No! Not my dick! No—not that!"

"You're pushing it Edward." I remarked.

"Yeah, Edward. Stop that." Alice smiled.

"Oh fuck off Alice."

If I yelled any louder, I think I might lose my head.

"Will you both just stop, already?" I begged.

"Not until Alice gets rid her fantasy."

"What fantasy?" I asked, taking another sip of water.

"Don't listen to him! He's lying!" Alice interjected, jumping right in front of me, blocking my view of Edward.

"Alice," I groaned, "What are you doing?"

"Don't listen to him, Ma! He's just—"

"She likes seeing two guys get at each other." Edward yelled through the commotion.

I just looked at her, "No, ma! He's just lying through his teeth!"

I wanted to cry. I wanted to throw my children out the window

"Oh yeah, why the fuck do you always groan whenever you see me and Jasper?"

"I think maybe it's time for us to take a break," Carlisle's voice cut through everyone else's, "and get some orange juice maybe. You know," his voice got distant as he walked the opposite direction of all of us, "To get a little more fruitier."


End file.
